Regret – to feel sorrow or remorse … a sense of loss, disappointment or dissatisfaction
With all of the research that has been done as to what we regret in life – things we don’t do top the leader board. People around the world almost universally use a simple 3-letter word to describe their regrets, their disappointments. That word is “not” – and it opens a long list.
We regret not; traveling(the world or just visiting the kids), learning (a new language, a musical instrument), leaving (a bad relationship), applying (ourselves … sunscreen), seeing (people), doing (what’s right), moving (our bodies), saying (what’s in our hearts), listening (to those we love), letting go, speaking, giving, caring, forgiving, thanking, or apologizing. It is a never-ending list, and it seldom contains what we have done. It usually consists of what we didn’t do.
When it really matters, like when we are at death’s door, we express regret for five of life’s sins of omission; not following dreams, not taking time off, not expressing feelings, not staying in touch, and simply not letting ourselves be happier.
If you’ve met me, you know I am a “so what” and “now what” kind of guy. I constantly look for the simple truth – the meaning within data – and then I search for what to do next, the appropriate action revealed in what I’ve learned.
Sins of omission – so what? My takeaway here is in fact the call to action. Think of the final lyrics to the chorus of one very special song by Kris Kristofferson; “I’d rather be sorry for something I’ve done, than for something that I didn’t do”. There is a time for learning and reflection, and then there is a time to do. Especially within the arena of leadership – we influence through our actions, not just our thoughts, feelings or values. Others respond to us based right or wrong upon how they interpret our actions … how they see what we do. So what? Take the risk of regretting what you’ve done, not what you haven’t done.
Sins of omission – now what? Let’s do something different – we can’t help but get better:
- Start now – select one behavioral change, one new action you can take in the company of each of your team members. Try it out … and make it one that you’ve previously omitted from your repertoire; asking, listening, trusting, praising, apologizing … you choose.
- Pass it along – send this blog to one of your team members. Ask them to discover their own path out of regret. Ask them to pick just one action they can take to eliminate regret in their lives – at work or at home.
We may not always get it right, but we’ll give it our best. Let’s soften regret, or even eliminate it from our lives.
-Don Brown
don@donbrown.org
Don Brown dedicates his career to ‘helping people with people’ in leadership, sales and customer service. Bilingual and experienced at the executive and line-level alike, you see the results of his work across dozens of industries, including brewing, automotive, airline, banking and medical equipment.
Speaking, writing, coaching and selling to the best – Ford Motor Company, Anheuser-Busch, United Airlines, Harley-Davidson, Jaguar Cars, Hilton Hotels and many, many more – Don takes great pride in long-standing customer relationships (some running well over twenty years).
