Give yourself the freedom to not have all the answers, all the time – and to understand that soon you won’t know enough to always be the expert. Learn how to ask and what to ask. Have the courage and confidence to ask and not tell. To be more effective as a leader, find out what your people want you to know and what they want you to do. A new era requires a new view.
10 Steps To Begin To Ask
Here are 10 actionable tips – that you can use right now – to begin the transition from a world of telling … to one of asking. You lose neither power nor control, and you gain the trust and respect of those you interact with.
- Permission First: Start by asking for permission to provide your point of view … “would you like a suggestion” or “may I make an observation?” By seeking another’s permission – and waiting silently for them to grant it – you increase the odds that they will listen and adopt what you say.
- Open For Dialogue: Open-ended questions lead to two-way communication. Others will appreciate your leaving room for them in the conversation, and you just might learn something.
- Just One Thing: Ask others for “just one” idea … and then give them a moment to consider. When they respond, you’ll know it’s important to them and you won’t waste their time or yours.
- What To Start: When someone matters to you, ask him or her what they want that you currently don’t provide when interacting with them.
- What To Stop: When someone matters to you, ask him or her what they don’t want from you when interacting.
- What To Continue: When someone matters to you, ask them what you currently do that they enjoy in an interaction … start, stop, continue – ask for them one at a time.
- Measure It To Change It: Consider a metric to calibrate your interactional effectiveness. Ask others (many others) to give you an effectiveness “score” in reference to your interactions … 1to10 … minus 2 to plus 2 … ask others and ask often. If you measure it, you change it.
- Feedback For Understanding: Asking for feedback on the past helps you to comprehend and accept how others see you.
- Feedforward For Change: Asking for suggestions for the future provides ideas for what to do differently … to change another’s perception.
- Closing Last: Questions that can only be answered in a closed format – such as those that require a response of either yes, no, a name or a number – can offer you a rolling scorecard on your change efforts.
Chose one step and get started today! Your people will thank you.
-Don Brown
don@donbrown.org
Don Brown dedicates his career to ‘helping people with people’ in leadership, sales and customer service. Bilingual and experienced at the executive and line-level alike, you see the results of his work across dozens of industries, including brewing, automotive, airline, banking and medical equipment.
Speaking, writing, coaching and selling to the best – Ford Motor Company, Anheuser-Busch, United Airlines, Harley-Davidson, Jaguar Cars, Hilton Hotels and many, many more – Don takes great pride in long-standing customer relationships (some running well over twenty years).
